While I do get nice presents for Christmas, they are things my humans want me to have. This year, I would like presents that I want me to have…
1. A new dog bed.
As you can see, this one is rather chewed up. Not that it’s not attractive this way, but I would love a “fresh” one.
2. A personalized, self‐filling, water bowl.
3. Pine cones.
Love chewin’ on ‘em! They keep my stomach nice and full, wrapping other foreign objects that I’ve chewed on around them. Which sometimes results in a trip to the vet. (See #8).
4. Costumes! A skunk costume! A Santa suit!
Ummm … NOT! If you bring me one of those stupid costumes, kiss your milk and cookies by the chimney goodbye, buddy.
5. I would enjoy having one of these for my own.
I keep checking them out on all the humans, but they always push me away.
6. Let’s go “green” with the treats this year!
Those treats from the store are tasty, but there are loads of “organic mini’s” on the ground, courtesy of the deer.
If you would bring me a bunch of those frozen treats, I would be just as happy. In fact, happier!
7. Santa, can you please give me this sound?
It is like an amusement park and makes me go wild! My humans seem to love it too, as they shout my name over and over when this sound goes off.
8. Santa, you would have not only my gratitude, but that of many dogs if you would please install this “Get Out of Jail Free Card” at the front doors of my vet, groomer and boarding kennel.
While they are very nice people, I would like to leave at will. Thank you.
9. I would like one of these built‐in entertainment centers for my very own, Santa (to go with my personalized water bowl).
If you could include at least a dozen “refills” as well, that would perfect!
10. My humans repeatedly fail to understand that I do not want them to leave.
This simple device will help them understand.
11. Lastly, I would like to be on the Late Night with David Letterman Show.
I mean, c’mon, I SING CHRISTMAS CAROLS! Please talk to Dave on my behalf about this. Thank you.
Have a wonderful Christmas, Santa!
I promise I have not lifted my leg on the Christmas tree (lately), nor licked the cookies the humans left out for you.
I ate them, but I swear, I never licked them first…